


Icy

by Sorciel



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Gender-Neutral Apprentice (The Arcana), Implied Relationships, Other, graphic description of gore and corpses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22314037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorciel/pseuds/Sorciel
Summary: The apprentice is just trying to live their life but Valdemar won't let them
Relationships: Apprentice/Valdemar (The Arcana), Valdemar (The Arcana)/Reader, Valdemar (The Arcana)/You
Comments: 16
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

I stood in front of the enormous bookshelves, for what seemed like the thousand and first time. My actions were mechanical, pulling books from their rightful place, and for what ? To descend into what seemed like hell.

Oh, yes, it was hell. An hell full of contaminated people, patients that were called _specimens_ and doctors that would soon become patients. This was to be my future too, as you cannot hide from the pestilence and from its curse, red as blood and with only one escape: Death.

I wondered, never daring to say my thoughts out loud, like many of the doctors below my feet, would I be spared from the cold and merciless vivisection table ? Probably not. Would they feel remorse when they'd dissect me, their former colleague and, dare I say, friend? Probably not.

You couldn't escape your fate, it was always here, looming over you. And once again I wondered: which one was worse ? To be vivisected or to be burnt alive on the Lazaret ? Oh, it was no secret that when we were overwhelmed with patients - _specimens_ \- we would simply send them to be cremated, while they were still very much alive.

_Burnt alive._

How did it feel ? How much did it hurt ? Did you survive long enough to feel your eyes melt like wax and your skin blister and cracks ? Maybe I will know, soon.

But, has the book always been so high? Black and gold. It is in front of me, but higher than usual.

Ah,of course, I broke the heels of my uniform's boots and had to wear flat ones. Everything came in place. I was about to stand on the tip of my toes when I felt _them_.

Ah, yes. Our infamous head doctor ('' _Murderer_.'').

You never realized when they were in the same room as you, unless, of course, they wanted to. You didn't need to see them nor to hear them. You could just _feel_. Feel the violent cold takes place as regent in the room, feel your hair rise on your neck, the goosebumps on your skin and the emptiness of what couldn't be felt.

'' My, you seem to have lost a few centimetres, doctor 71. '' I heard their voice, as they chuckled in my ear.

I felt their icy breath on my cheekbone and I felt their oh so cold arm (" _Like a corpse_ ") trail up my back, settling a second on my shoulder and once again reaching for the book. 

Ah! Here they were, everyone's favourite (" _Despised_.") doctor!(" _Murderer_.")

'' - I broke the boots. " Was my only answer.

I was used to this by now, to them. They chuckled once again, the sound somewhat deep, as the hidden door opened.

'' Why, you should have told me sooner! I would've helped you out with the items that are out of your reach. ''

(" _It's you who is out of my reach_.")

Their hand returned to my shoulder, leading me down the dark staircase I was so used to.

I shivered. Cheeky bastard.

I dared not turn around to look them in the eyes. I never did, no one ever did. (" _Preys don't look into a predator's eyes._ ") 

But I knew. Their eyes were the only thing about them that wasn't made of ice. Their eyes, red and sharp, _burned_. Stared into your soul, stripped you of your secrets, and when their eyes left you, all that you felt was the _cold_ as they left you (" _For dead_ ") bare.


	2. Chapter 2

The dungeons are cold, the hand on my shoulder is colder. I can feel their firm hold and the way their fingers almost dig into my skin. There is no _choice_ for me but to keep walking straight, following the path they chose for me, for _us_. I match their step, and I walk straight ahead. There is no need to watch my step, to try and see where we are going, for we are going down, we are going to Hell.

It seems to be their favorite place.(“ _It’s where they came from_.”)

Am I afraid of them? After all, who wouldn’t be? But what about _them_? Are they afraid of something? I think they are. But what are they afraid of? _Me_? It feels like it, from how tight they always hold me. (“ _Monsters do not fear_.”)

But why would they be scared of me? What am I, but one of the many doctors cursed to burn to ashes? What am I but just a person into a mass? (“ _You are one with the mass_.”)

Apparently I am also their favorite doctor. Or so it would seem. (“ _They’ll be the death of you._ ”)

Oh, I know this, not only because they always seem to gravitate around me, moving my arm as I cut into a patient(“ _Specimen_.”), touching my back to move me out of the way, grasping my shoulder to lead me to Hell. (“ _Demon_.”)

In fact, they do not gravitate around me. It is me. They move (“ _Manipulate_.”) me, so I gravitate around them. Or maybe I overthink.

After all, they also plainly told me, in front of, well, _everyone_ , that I was their favorite. (“ _Saving you for last._ ”)

Do I _believe_ them? (“ _Liar_.”) Do I _believe_ the sharp gaze looking straight into my _soul_? (“ _Liar_.”) Do I _believe_ the hands that guide me down the stairs, by the shoulder when Hell is full of sinners, and by the waist when it is empty? (“ _Liar_.”)

Yes, I believe them, as much as I believe that we all die. (“ _You lie too, you dare lie to yourself_.”)

But then again, am I _afraid_ of them ?

At first, I think I was. But not anymore. (“ _Doesn’t matter if you die from the plague or at the tip their scalpel_.”)

Then why am I so drawn to them ?Why I am not afraid of them?

Do I _love_ them? (“ _Oh no_.”) Perhaps. But do _they_ love me? ( “ _Can they even feel love?_ ”) I do not know, so I ask them.(“ _You’re dead_.”)

“ - Doctor Valdemar? ” I say, my voice flat, as if emotionless (“ _You’re becoming like them_.”)

They tilt their head, curiously looking at me with the big, unblinking eyes I’ve grown used to. They take off their mask, as the putrid scent of the dungeons become stronger and they smile at me with their _oh so sharp_ teeth,(“ _They’re not even human. You know. **You know.**_ ”) taking a deep breath.

“ - Yes, my dear? ”

“ Do you love me? ”

They freeze, smile dropping and eyes widening as they stare off into the void. Is this a defense mechanism? (“ _Are they a lizard?_ ”)

Finally, after minutes, they start blinking furiously looking at me as if I asked them I was planning to sell them to a freak show (“ _They’d fit in_.”).

“ I- huh… ah? ” They can’t seem to be able to form a coherent sentence. I laugh, as this is the first time I have ever seen them like this. They usually have something smart to say. I feel great, I feel _powerful_. I made the terrifying doctor lose their voice over such a simple question. (“ _Demons don’t know what love is_.”)

“ Cat got your tongue?” I tease, laughing at their dumbfounded face. Their eyebrows knit together. When they talk again all they ask is:

“ Why ? ”

“ Why _not_? ” (“ _Go on, play games with the green creature that came crawling from hell, what a good idea_.”)

I don’t give them the time to answer as I suddenly bolt toward the elevator, planning on going down before them (“ _You’re going down in every way possible.”_ ) to avoid further questioning.

They are _faster_ than I planned, squeezing into the small elevator and pressing themself to me.

They’re grinning. (“ _This is how an idiot dies_.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this is cliffhanger
> 
> i really have no idea when i’m going with this story i just write like this, i haven’t had a coherent thought in years don’t blame me if this is bad
> 
> It’s a bit different than the first part, I really wanted to make jokes with the intrusive thoughts
> 
> also yes, there is a Pirates of the Caribbean reference and a Rango reference lmao


	3. The end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected turn of events.

“ Do I _love_ you? Oh, dearest…” They grin, and all I can see is their sharp, _oh so sharp_ fangs. I do not move, I don’t even react when I feel their heartbeat quicken. (“ _Didn’t know they even had one._ ”)

Their hand caress my cheek softly before gripping my chin and making me look up into their blood-red eyes. Their body is pressed up to me inside of the cramped elevator, which was clearly not meant for two people.

I cannot move ( “ _You’re trapped like a mere prey.”_ ) and I realize that we’re not descending. _Ah_ , they must have pressed the mysterious emergency stop button. I always wondered why someone would feel the need to stop the machine and stay blocked in such a cramped space.

“ The real question, my dear, is if _you_ love me?” Their cat-like grin widen. They seem so _confident_ , so sure of themself. But I know better, I _feel_ their heartbeat going erratic, I see their throat move as they swallow, and I know how anxious they are.

I blink. Do I _love_ them? (“ _Of course not_.”)

I smile up at them, my hand raises and slowly caress their arm, coming to a stop where their hand still is, on my cheek.

“ Oh, dearest doctor, ’ I purr ’, tell me _why_? Oh, why should i love someone like you?”

I swear I can feel their heartbeat stutter and my smile widen. I rip their hand off my cheek.

“ Please, do not be mistaken. I am aware that you do love me. But I never said that I loved _you_ back.”

Their eyes widen, their smile drop and the look of pure shock on their face feels so delightful. (“ _Who would have thought that you’d be able to play with the feelings of a monster?_ ”)

They still don’t say anything and I press the button behind their back so the elevator goes back down. I stand on my tip toes, gripping their apron to bring them down to me, to whisper in their ear.

“ Thank you so much for this _experiment_ , doctor.”

The doors open with a ’ _ding_ ’ and I walk out of the elevator leaving them behind.

(“ _Now they know what it feels like to be a mere experiment, not a person, just a test subject._ ”)

I rush to doctor number 69 as soon as I see his red hair.

“ _Julian_ ! You owe me beer for the rest of my life !” I laugh as his eyes widen. (“ _So shocked that such a sweet things managed to trick the monster into having feelings, only to break their heart he didn’t knew they had_.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have some role reversal here ! I've seen fanfics where Valdemar toys with the MC but never the other way so i though hey, let's beat up this bitch  
> ( i actually love them but i'm an asshole )   
> PS : I wrote this in class lmao   
> hope y'all liked this ! Come see my tumblr https://vesuviancourtthirst.tumblr.com/ for more, i post headcannons,asks and scenarios !

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is creative writing, i may or may not write a part two if i feel like it. I just wanted to write something about Valdemar  
> PLEASE, do not HESITATE to leave feedback, it would be much appreciated! xoxo!  
> initially posted on my tumblr vesuviancourthirst https://vesuviancourtthirst.tumblr.com/post/190337973116/ice-i-stood-in-front-of-the-enormous-bookshelves


End file.
